Where I potty train in public…

I won a pair of tickets to see a movie at Empire Theatres Reel Babies.  The Reel Babies is an afternoon show where they play a regular (not kids) movie and bring in excosaucers, bouncy chairs, play mats, bottle warmers, and a change table and diaper genie.  The lights stay on dim and the sound is turned down slightly as to not terrify the children.  Even the ticket price is cheaper.  Genius for moms with little babies.
I always mean to go to them, and always check the dates, but never remember on the actual day.  This week I put it in my phone.  The movie was The Five Year Engagement and it was HORRIBLE.  I noticed after that it was rated 14A (should have been 18A).  For the first hour I was just frustrated that the F word was used so often.  I wish we could all agree that it isn’t funny.  Then it just got SUPER boring and SUPER inappropriate and I could honestly care less. 
Jett came (not ideal for his age group but what was I to do?) and he had to go to the bathroom like 5 times.  He has been potty trained for a while and hasn’t had an accident in months (WAHOO!) but after a somewhat recent road trip he keeps asking to pee on the grass.  When we are in our backyard I figure no big deal.  He has done this for a while, but I told him as long as it was JUST at our house it would be ok.  Not only is his goal the distance but he also is aiming for objects in the yard and swaying.  Again, I figure as long as its just at home its kind of like training to stand up at the toilet without me having to clean it! 
So when Jett loudly yells that he has to go pee, I figure the public bathroom is the idea place to ‘try’ the standing up, thereby avoiding the clean up and the entire article of clothing removal in a public place.  I tell him its kind of like peeing in the grass except to aim for the water.  He goes for it and it sprays everywhere (lovely).  He gets scared at the automatic flush and we go back to our horrible movie.
5 minutes later he yells at full volume “I HAVE TO PEE IN THE GRASS”.  So I take him again and I have to convince him that since we are not home he MUST go inside.  Someone is using (probably cleaning) the first stall so we go into the next.  I make him sit and he takes care of business.  All his business.   There is no toilet paper.  The never-out machine has literally no rolls of tp. 
We fix all the errors, wash our hands, and proceed back to the theatre.  I don’t even care about the movie but my friend is kind of into it and holding one of the twins, so I stay.  Not 1 minute later Jett yells out again.  “LOOK ITS DADDY!  Thats my dad!”  He did have my ipad so I figured he must have gotten into the pictures.  No big deal, oh no, he is pointing at the screen, at Jason Segel.

My Family (2 years ago)

If I have a celebrity husband can the boy not choose for me Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, or Keith Urban?  PULEEEESE.  And the nanny and large LA house with a pool can accompany him too please?